Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
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Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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