Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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