seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
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I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
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my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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