Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We're too hungover to prance.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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