Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize