i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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