he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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