The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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