just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize