I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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