So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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