i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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