I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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