I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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