I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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