i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
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He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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