I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize