hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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