Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize