a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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