Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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