Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
And then my night got REAL pukey
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize