i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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