doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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