is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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