i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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