i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
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I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
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He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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