I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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