you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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