she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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