WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize