but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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