I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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