someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize