let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
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Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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