First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize