i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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