So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
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he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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