4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize