Tell her she can't have a vagina
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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