So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize