Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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