Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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