Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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