I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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