I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
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Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
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At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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