Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize