this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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