I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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