There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
