god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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