Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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