I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
the liver wants what the liver wants
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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